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Employees prefer to avoid conflict because few see the benefits of engaging in it. For many, conflict situations pose a dilemma - to quarrel with one another to get what they want and damage the relationship or to avoid the conversation but not get what they want, and thereby protect the relationship.
Ever notice how the room goes quiet when things get tense around the conference table? That's not the sound of brilliant tactical ploys being waged. It's the sound of individuals actively disengaging from conflict, closing down, protecting themselves against further attack. They've reverted to "default behaviour."
Our challenge as Leaders is to team conflict resolution together with feelings of advantage and benefit. We need to change others' frame of reference from "either/or" to "this+plus+that". We achieve this by applying a method to maximise pressure on the issues while minimising confrontation between combatants - thereby engaging more people in workplace conflict resolution, more often.
Conflict theory
Imagine you are that bamboo tube, looking optimistically towards the sky. Now picture someone pouring cold water on your plans or personal values. Over time you get such a bucketing that, like the bamboo tube, you eventually tip over and lose it... thereby explaining the loud "clack" noise.
Like the shishi odoshi, business conflict begins when one person clacks. This may show as a fear of inadequacy to manage the process - literally feeling unable to manage oneself or the other person through the process of the issue. Or it may show as a fear of loss about the potential outcome - literally feeling unable to achieve a satisfactory result. Both types of conflict styles are based on fear; you can read more about it by clicking here to read principles and examples.
Conflict resolution strategies
Applying a practical process (how we discuss issues) to the content (what we discuss) fundamentally changes the nature of discussions from adversarial to collaborative. The resulting reduction in discord encourages managers and employees to engage in workplace conflict resolution more willingly and more frequently.
In our work with organisations throughout Australia, we seldom see robust conflict management approaches (even senior managers often struggle to apply effective processes to resolve tricky issues). It has prompted us to conduct research with business leaders into how conflict manifests in the workplace, what works and what doesn't, and it's advantages and disadvantages. It's all inside The Conflict Report which offers the thinking and insights from 20 Senior Leaders of major organisations. And it's free - click the link to read more.
One of the many results it reveals is the need for a simple method to define one another's wants and needs, encouraging the creation of Possabilities® to satisfy needs. One of the more effective workplace conflict resolution methods is the 5 Point Method which encourages people to vigorously engage in discussion, "playing the ball, not the man".
* Creating the "right" workplace culture; * Adding dollars to your bottom line; or * Coping with change in the organisation,
often it's this simple method which puts them on the right path forward.
As specialists in this area, we use our techiques of conflict resolution to help people in business get what they want. Contact us for
workplace conflict resolution advice
or to step in and solve the problem for you.
Another option is to contact a colleague of ours, Marsha Ostrer, who provides workplace Conflict Resolution and ADR Tools you need to create cost effective, satisfying and durable outcomes. Her website,
All Things Conflict Resolution and ADR
endeavours to be a one stop shop for information on all peaceful conflict resolution alternatives.
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