A matter of perspective

Once upon a time there lived a very happy, very heavy fellow named Pat. His perspective was that he was "a trifle undertall", but his many friends laughed at this and called him Fat Pat. So he began walking to lose weight. He walked from his home to the office and back again. He walked to the shops. He walked with his wife. He walked the dog. Fat Pat walked everywhere!

Fat Pat lived beside a busy road and would always use the pedestrian crossing with the flashing lights. Cars would eventually stop for him, even if he did sometimes caution drivers by waving a waggly finger at the "Pedestrians have right-of-way" sign as a reminder.

Flat Pat.

The moral of the story

Understanding the other person's point of view is a better first step than being right. Pat's determination to prove he was sooo right
lead him to become self-righteous and quickly, dead wrong.

We become involved in confrontation for one reason - we disagree.
If the other person held the same perspective as we do, we wouldn't be arguing - we would be agreeing. When people join our Negotiation Seminars we recommend they resist the temptation to "be right" and instead explore the other person's view of the world.

Seeing only one side of the story makes as much sense as stepping in front of a speeding truck - someone's bound to get hurt. It makes more sense to understand their perspective and their Wotuwants®. If you're seeking more effective outcomes in your negotiations, ask how others see issues. A great question is, "How do you see the issue?" - part of our 5 Point Method and a key point good negotiators use to resolve conflict.

As for Pat? Well, gentle reader, he was carefully folded by the courier driver and posted home in a very large envelope...