A Matter of PerspectiveOnce upon a time there lived a very happy, very heavy fellow named Pat. His perspective was that he was "a trifle undertall", but his many friends laughed at this and called him Fat Pat. So he began walking to lose weight. He walked from his home to the office and back. He walked to the shops. He walked with his wife. He walked the dog. Fat Pat walked everywhere!
Fat Pat lived beside a busy road and always used the pedestrian crossing with the flashing lights. Cars would eventually stop for him even if he did sometimes caution drivers by waving a waggly finger at the "Pedestrians have right-of-way" sign as a reminder.
One day at the pedestrian crossing Fat Pat became very annoyed at the speeding traffic that wouldn't stop to let him cross. He was determined to show who was right. So he stepped in front of a 10-tonne Mail Truckto make it stop and... splat!
Flat Pat.
The moral of the story
Understanding the other person's point of view is a better first step than being right. Pat's determination to prove he was sooo right
We become involved in confrontation for one reason - we disagree. If the other person held the same perspective as we did we wouldn't be arguing - we would be agreeing. When people join our Negotiation Seminars we recommend they resist the temptation to "be right" and instead explore each other's view of the world.
Seeing only one side of the story makes as much sense as stepping in front of a speeding truck - someone's bound to get hurt. It makes more sense to understand their perspective and their Wotuwants®. If you're seeking more effective outcomes in your negotiations, ask how others see issues. Start by asking, "How do you see the issue?" - part of our 5 Point Method and a key point good negotiators use in conflict resolution.
As for Pat? Well, gentle reader, the Truck Driver peeled him off the road, folded him up, and posted him home in a very large envelope...
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