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into everyday discussions

Ever wished for a newsletter that gave real insights into why negotiations fail? Or be able to rewind a conversation and get it right next time?

Drawing upon everyday situations, Negotiation Insights is our monthly newsletter offering original thinking into why discussions flounder. We share how to have better conversations with better outcomes. To give you a bird's eye view of what to expect, below is a light-hearted piece
we wrote earlier on building relationships - one of our favourites.

How to make friends

Here’s what happened

Wanting a new wrought iron fence for our front garden, I went to see the highly-skilled craftsman, Peter at Abbotsford Iron. He was busy so I waited for him. Yet within a minute or so, his Blue Heeler dog wandered up to me. At first, cautiously, keeping his head close to the ground, checking everything is OK. Now, I like dogs, so I bent down on my haunches and held out my hand for the dog to smell, and hopefully sense I meant no harm.

Peter's dog seemed to accept that I passed the Sniff Test and, satisfied, I was able to stroke the side of his head. "Hello, boy, what's your name?" I asked. I couldn't yet see the dog was a "he", even less know that his name is Roy, but then again, I didn't introduce myself and he didn't pry into my sexuality either. So I guess we're even.

At this point the dog trotted off leaving me to wait for Peter. But in a moment, returned with something in his mouth. Lifting his head he dropped the object between us, just out of my reach.

It was a plastic bottle cap.

Roy ducked his head, retreated a pace, fixed his eyes on me and swung his head from side to side, like a tennis player awaiting the serve of the ball.

"Righto," I said, picking up the bottle cap, moving it left and right and back again, before lightly tossing it over the dog's head. Well, you should have seen Roy twist-and-accelerate chasing that bottle cap! - it had barely bounced before he'd caught it in his mouth and he returned to position, dropping the cap in front of me once more.

Game on! We played our game over and over - me toying with the cap before tossing it left or right or over his head, and Roy charging off after it, returning with a big grin before dropping it, panting, intently watching me as to where it might go next.

We delighted playing our new game of Throw-the-bottle-cap. I don't know who enjoyed it more, Roy or me. Truth is, I was a little disappointed when Peter arrived and we had to finish our game.

Our Insight for You

Roy's open attitude to making new friends seems based on the next lucky person who walks into Peter's ironworks. That day, it just happened to be me. Roy decided that I would be his friend. And with a bottle cap, inside a few minutes, made it happen.

If you want to make new friends, use Roy's method - be friendly to everyone you meet.

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