Negotiation FAQ

Here are the Top 40 FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) that people want to know, collected from our seminars and short talks we run, the emails you send, and phone calls you make to us. In short, if you knew the answers to all these questions, you'd be much more effective in your commercial negotiations. Clicking on the purple link inside the answer will take you to a more detailed answer.

* What's a simple definition of negotiation?
Our favourite definition of negotiation is this - Negotiation is a process to get what you want.

* What's your background, James?
Click here to read a little more about us.

* What is conflict resolution?
Ah, a good question - Any negotiated outcome which gains harmony and it's better explained here in conflict resolution.

* Why do so many people avoid conflict?
Fundamentally because they lack the skills to deal with the situation. In truth, people avoid conflict because they fear it.

* How does conflict work?
This needs a more detailed answer; click here for a deeper discussion of how conflict works and scroll down to the subheading, "Conflict Theory".

* Where does conflict come from?
Conflict comes from our inability to manage one another's needs. When we feel unable to manage the process or the outcome, it produces fear, which often leads to conflict.

* Which strategies are more successful in dealing with conflict?
We don't know all the strategies, but through constant testing in both professional and personal situations, we know our 5 Point Method works every time it's applied.

* How do you change the other person from being an Adversary to a Collaborator?
By using a process that demonstrates your adversary will win IF he/she engages with you; one such process is the 5 Point Method. When you're able to help the other person to win, they stop fighting and start helping.

* Can you suggest articles on workplace conflict resolution?
We have few articles posted at the moment, but are writing more; click here for our current range of business case studies.

* Help! I think my staff has Disengagementitis©!
Are your staff engaged at work? Here's a simple test for its presence... and then scroll down to "1. Repair Relationships".

* How can I increase the level of staff engagement?
You need to understand more about what they want from work... and then give it to them!

* Should non-performing employees be counselled or dismissed?
Hmmm, looks tricky, doesn't it? Not any more - getting your workplace culture right.

* How do you manage stress at work?
It's about understanding the relationship between Expectations and Reality. Ricardo Semler, the Brazilian entrepreneur, offers real insights into managing stress.

* How can I grow our company's bottom line?
You need two ingredients to be effective - information and desire - and your staff have both. The issue is how to access it.

* What simple techniques do you use to cope with organisational change?
Understanding the ABC of Organisational Change is a good place to begin.

* Why do we negotiate?
There is only one reason to negotiate - you want the other person to do something.

* What's a commitment?
A commitment is a promise to do something - and it's what good negotiators pursue.

* What is negotiation?
Negotiation is a process to get what you want; here's another 4 meaningful definitions of negotiation.

* Should you compromise when negotiating?
No. When you compromise you give in, giving up what you want - stop compromising and start negotiating.

* Why is it important to understand the other person's perspective?
Everyone sees the world differently, through their own eyes. Good negotiators work hard to understand how the other person sees issues; in a matter of perspective, read how Pat sees the world.

* Sometimes people do things I don't like. How can I stop them?
we manage others' behaviour by first managing our own. Here's how - managing behaviour.

* What do you do when others behave badly?
Most of us respond in one of 3 ways - feeling uncomfortable, not knowing what to say, or telling ourselves the outcome isn't worth the risk. Here's what skilled negotiators do.

* How does Speak From The Head work?
Speak From The Head is a 5-step technique to control behaviour - both ours and theirs. Here's how it works.

* Do you offer workshops and seminars in negotiation and conflict resolution?
Yes - Conversations Without Conflict is a practical and interactive 2-day seminar demonstrating and practicing how to effectively manage the Triangle of Negotiation.

* Do you ever give your talks for free?
Yes, we do. Click here on PIGS! to find out how; you can even watch a short video clip from a recent performance.

* Why do you perform talks for free?
It helps people in their lives, both professionally and personally. And that's a good enough reason.

* When do you recommend using a Facilitator?
Sometimes problems and opportunities seem too difficult to manage, and so it may be best to hire a highly-skilled, independent third party to get what you want. There are 3 reasons to consider using a facilitator to solve problems.

* Do you have testimonials for your work?
Yes, our clients often say and write wonderful things about us and our work; if you click here on the negotiation skills we offer and open up the first 5 pages, you can read lots of quotes and make up your own mind.

* Do you offer one-on-one coaching in negotiation and conflict resolution?
Yes, we do. If your focus is on better results, see who we work with and how we work at coaching to boost performance.

* Do you sell CDs of your seminars?
Yes; and you can download 3 tracks for personal listening beforehand, just to get a good idea of what the 2-disc pack is all about. Click here on The Complete Seminar CD pack.

* Can I download free tracks from your CD?
Yes, provided it's for personal listening only and not for commercial airplay, reproduction, performance or sale. Just click on The Complete Seminar CD pack to download 3 of the 19 tracks.

* What does your 2-day seminar contain?
See for yourself - Conversations Without Conflict 2-day seminar.

* Can one of our people attend a seminar before making a booking?
No, once our clients buy one of our programs, they like to keep it all to themselves! But you can see the content we cover by clicking on "Seminars" on this website, or listen to session content. Together with our Lifetime Guarantee of Effectiveness, you're about to gain great value.

* How can I be sure your workshops really work?
We offer a Lifetime Guarantee of Effectiveness on all our seminar techniques and methods to every participant: if you faithfully apply our techniques and methods and find them ineffective in your negotiations during your lifetime, contact us and I will personally refund your ticket price in full (excluding amortised expenses). We make this extraordinary guarantee for one reason only - our material works!

* Pigs? What's pigs all about?
PIGS! follows the story of The 3 Little Pigs as they outwit their nemesis, the Big Bad Wolf. Along the way, they discover the top 5 reasons why negotiations fail, and how to overcome each one, using practical techniques. It's fast, funny, and full of content and you can see more of this delightful short talk here.

* Can we see you in action before booking you?
Yes; here's a 60 second video clip from a recent performance of PIGS!. Enjoy.

* Is it true that you perform PIGS! free of charge?
Yes, in many cases we do. To see if you qualify, click here.

* Are there any case studies I can read about?
Yes; we are compiling case studies as we go (but with so many competing demands for our time, we're adding cases as quickly as we can).

* Are there any negotiation exercises I can try?
Yes - click on negotiation exercises - and get ready to be challenged!

* What is the Triangle of Negotiation?
Successful negotiations invariably look after 3 elements - the Relationships, Emotions (both ours and theirs, ensuring that we express thoughts and feelings appropriately), and the Process of the discussion. Where one or more of these elements is ineffective, the negotiation invariably fails. combined, these 3 elements form the Triangle of Negotiation.

By the way, if you've got a question or an issue about negotiation or conflict resolution that you'd like to know more about, please contact us with your FAQ and who knows, you might see the answer to your particular question right here the next day.