A meaningful definition
of negotiation

Let's begin with a definition of negotiation, the first part in understanding how to be a more effective negotiator, to manage conflict, and to get what you want. Here we define what negotiation is and is not.

What is negotiation?

Negotiation is any activity that influences another person. Here's how a number of leading thinkers define the topic:

        * Negotiating is the process of getting the best terms once the other side starts to act on their interest.

        * ... negotiating is... a means of achieving one's goals in every relationship regardless of the circumstances.

        * Negotiation is a field of knowledge and endeavor that focuses on gaining the favor of people from whom we want things.

        * Negotiation is a basic means of getting what you want from others.

Our definition of negotiation Negotiation is a process to get what you want.

  Notice that negotiation is a process, a   means to an end. It is the journey of   how we get to the destination, not the   destination itself. This doesn't mean   losing sight of the destination but rather, paying more attention to how we get there. It's all about "process".

Negotiation is multi-faceted

A good definition of negotiation may recognise context (the background against which it is set) because much of negotiation in business today is "live" ie conducted in real time. Here are a number of typical contexts, each affecting how your negotiation will play out:

        * time - specific deadlines; a sense of urgency; an initial or follow-up opportunity/meeting and all that entails; inaction

        * environment - physical environment (and its impact upon our senses); professional or cultural expectations ("here, we do it this way")

        * personalities - temperament and behaviour; number of people in the setting

        * information - knowledge or lack of; perception of one another's knowledge base

        * personal issues - personal identity and ability; distractions external to the meeting

        * hierarchy - ability to command/demand performance; deference

These scenarios often lend a three-dimensional feeling, making every negotiation fluid, constantly changing, creating a sense of something always happening. Cohen captures context astutely when he uses the term, "web of tension". This paints rich, visual pictures of a spider delicately sensing the vibrations of prey caught in its web; or a computer game's avatar bounding over a dynamic landscape, each footstep sinking down into the surface while simultaneously pushing up the surface somewhere else.

Negotiation is NOT compromise

"Compromise" means giving concessions or settling upon an intermediate point between two positions. It is not a means of getting what you want. In fact, the next time you feel tempted to compromise in a situation tell yourself, "I want to lose." That's right, get ready to capitulate.

Whenever anyone on the other side of the bargaining table offers the word "compromise", they are voicing their preparedness to lose. I'm not sure how much they will lose yet, but it's somewhere between 1 and 100%... and we're about to find out how much it will cost them.

Stop compromising and start negotiating.

Next steps

Now that you understand what negotition is - and is not - you'll want to apply more effective methods whenever you negotiate. But rather than try a few tips & techniques, it's best to learn a complete, integrated system. May we suggest a practical framework, because it's time to move from a definition of negotiation to a simple 5 Point Method.